One love.

 

Ever thought about how there is only one person there for everyone? I used to. Yes, surprising. I was brainwashed by the modern movies that I assumed that there is one perfect soul for everyone. Boy, did I learn the right thing the wrong way. I’m not going into detail but I had a crush somebody the day I saw her. It wasn’t one of those “love at first sight” kind of melodramatic nuisance, it was plain fascination. I was fascinated when I first saw her. My curiosity led me to her and my little confidence led to a first talk. Of course, it didn’t go well, I was shy, she was shy(not really), all the normal stuff. Then later on, we clicked, we connected and BAM, I fell for her. Was it too soon?Probably. Did I make the right choice? Surprisingly, yes. She was interested too and one thing led to another and we were together…or at least that is what should’ve happened.

What really happened was that I got too into this whole idea of..”being above friends” and that startled her causing unpleasantness and we stopped seeing each other a few weeks later. Mind you, I don’t fall for people that easily, so if I did fall for someone, it would be a pain in the a*s to move on. It took me months, would’ve been sooner if we weren’t in the same school. After I had moved on, I don’t know what happened, but she magically sensed it(From this comes my theory of woman having a 7th sense). She came up to me with a big and energetic “Hi!” and I smiled and we started talking. A few years passed and now she’s my only best friend I’d die for. Funny how things work out this way.

When we first start off with understanding “affection”, it seems unfathomable and mind you, it is, just that we comprehend it the wrong way. We let the good parts touch our heart and the bad parts hit us hard. That is what happened when I first had a mere crush on someone. I was a kid, na├»ve and all. If I was hurt when I was a kid, I wouldn’t have had any sort of reasoning to it, it would just be plain pain without any backstory. That is how I felt back in my days. Today, whenever I see some underage kid ranting about his love story, if I hadn’t experienced the pain, I would’ve just told him, “You’re a kid, grow up.” and forgotten about it, but, I did experience the pain, so I could relate to him, sure, as a whole it seems quite little(it is) but for the child, it really isn’t so I have to respect what he feels and talk to him about it. That is the right choice. Toughen up? Bull. Let him live it, he will eventually toughen himself up.
Back to the story, I honestly thought that that girl was the one for me, she was cute, amazing, smart, everything, hell, she still is, but I now know what the truth it. I got so obsessed with the idea of “The one” that I stuck to it. Yes, I was quite the dumb kid.
It taught me something valuable, the pain, it taught me that there is a world and a life full of chances just waiting to be taken. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t mean that your life is over and that you have to be stuck in your little comfort zone full of insecurities. Take a chance. Fail. Take a chance again. Do it till you prevail. Don’t let one unfortunate incident define your whole life. So what you lost The one? There’s the Next one right there.
What I’m trying to say is to take your unfortunate moments as your stepping stone and go forward where all that there is, is happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Realization

I’m sick. Actually sick. No, I’m serious, I’m REALLY sick. Been vomiting this morning and not feeling good the days before. I like typing here and it’s a nice hobby to stay anonymous and say everything you normally wouldn’t say but yeah, I like it.
I want to post but I can’t because of how fragile a human body really is.
I don’t know about you, but, for me, I have this bad(?) habit of thinking on a negative level every time something negative happens to me. I cough, “OH MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!”. I’m just kidding!
I just tend to think about stuff to deviate myself from the pain, mentally.
I have to admit, there is nothing going on in my life, nothing to write or even think about so if I’m doing this, it’s a miracle.
A little detail to be added, I had my exam this morning so when I felt sick, I was actually horrified. This exam comes every year so I had to wait for another year for appearing for it and I can’t deal with one whole year of idleness.
Yes, I did go and I did attend, went pretty good, so I’m relieved.
I started thinking about what would’ve happened if I hadn’t gone for the exam. It would’ve ruined my whole plan I have set out(Yes, I have a plan and no, it’s not stupid to have your future all planned out).
Anyway, I started thinking about things and how much of a setback it would’ve been for me. Then it hit me, it doesn’t matter. Suddenly, my whole plan just didn’t matter. We live always thinking about the future that we forgot the enjoy the moment. There is this very snide phrase, “YOLO”, which is absurd, or that is what I thought, at least.
You see, the beginning of YOLO was all about “you only live once, so you have to do everything that comes forward and is fun”, when it should really be something like “You only live once, so do everything you can to make a difference in the world”.
That type of YOLO is what I’d honestly keep as my motto.
In my bad moments, I had a realization so all in all, it wasn’t such a bad moment after all.
I don’t really have a point for this all, but, in a way, it served me as a life lesson(the timing is impeccable) and just thought I’d share it with my imaginary readers.