Balance.

Are you ever afraid of being alone, ten years from now? Having no purpose, no motivation, nothing, in the future when you’re all grown-up? I’m afraid. I’m afraid I might do something which might hugely impact myself and the people around me.
Growing up, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic – always believing that love is a solution to all(Disney, much?). No, I wasn’t influenced by Disney, the people around me influenced me, and they follow different cultures and ways of life. I’m not going to go in-depth with how everyone around me impacted me in a variety of ways so I’m just going to say this; I honestly believed that love is all everyone needed. Yes, I was that naïve.
Not knowing what “love” was at the time, I always thought it was this new feeling which made you feel good and complete. After experiencing love, I realized that love is a necessity; but it’s not all that you need. What you need is the balance. The balance between every aspect to stay content. I compromised a lot for love, and when it inevitably perished, I had nothing to get back to, I was stuck.
Now I’ve grown-up, and I’m experienced to know better, and that is why I’m trying to fix myself; not taking everything for granted, not devaluing others just because, just appreciating everything.
The point to this is that everything needs to be a balance, to live a healthy life.
People are going to hit the ground someday, it’s inevitable, it’s only a matter of what you decide to do then.

One love.

 

Ever thought about how there is only one person there for everyone? I used to. Yes, surprising. I was brainwashed by the modern movies that I assumed that there is one perfect soul for everyone. Boy, did I learn the right thing the wrong way. I’m not going into detail but I had a crush somebody the day I saw her. It wasn’t one of those “love at first sight” kind of melodramatic nuisance, it was plain fascination. I was fascinated when I first saw her. My curiosity led me to her and my little confidence led to a first talk. Of course, it didn’t go well, I was shy, she was shy(not really), all the normal stuff. Then later on, we clicked, we connected and BAM, I fell for her. Was it too soon?Probably. Did I make the right choice? Surprisingly, yes. She was interested too and one thing led to another and we were together…or at least that is what should’ve happened.

What really happened was that I got too into this whole idea of..”being above friends” and that startled her causing unpleasantness and we stopped seeing each other a few weeks later. Mind you, I don’t fall for people that easily, so if I did fall for someone, it would be a pain in the a*s to move on. It took me months, would’ve been sooner if we weren’t in the same school. After I had moved on, I don’t know what happened, but she magically sensed it(From this comes my theory of woman having a 7th sense). She came up to me with a big and energetic “Hi!” and I smiled and we started talking. A few years passed and now she’s my only best friend I’d die for. Funny how things work out this way.

When we first start off with understanding “affection”, it seems unfathomable and mind you, it is, just that we comprehend it the wrong way. We let the good parts touch our heart and the bad parts hit us hard. That is what happened when I first had a mere crush on someone. I was a kid, naïve and all. If I was hurt when I was a kid, I wouldn’t have had any sort of reasoning to it, it would just be plain pain without any backstory. That is how I felt back in my days. Today, whenever I see some underage kid ranting about his love story, if I hadn’t experienced the pain, I would’ve just told him, “You’re a kid, grow up.” and forgotten about it, but, I did experience the pain, so I could relate to him, sure, as a whole it seems quite little(it is) but for the child, it really isn’t so I have to respect what he feels and talk to him about it. That is the right choice. Toughen up? Bull. Let him live it, he will eventually toughen himself up.
Back to the story, I honestly thought that that girl was the one for me, she was cute, amazing, smart, everything, hell, she still is, but I now know what the truth it. I got so obsessed with the idea of “The one” that I stuck to it. Yes, I was quite the dumb kid.
It taught me something valuable, the pain, it taught me that there is a world and a life full of chances just waiting to be taken. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t mean that your life is over and that you have to be stuck in your little comfort zone full of insecurities. Take a chance. Fail. Take a chance again. Do it till you prevail. Don’t let one unfortunate incident define your whole life. So what you lost The one? There’s the Next one right there.
What I’m trying to say is to take your unfortunate moments as your stepping stone and go forward where all that there is, is happiness.