Me, Myself and I

I have my holidays right now and all I’ve been doing is sitting all day doing absolutely nothing at all. Well, I’m doing a lot of things but none worthy enough for a mention because the society dictates what should be worthy and what shouldn’t.
It’s always been like this.
“Oh, you went to a concert and got wasted? That’s awesome!”
“Oh you just stayed home and were on your laptop all day? You really need to go out.” 
Why do people always assume that there is only one typical way of having fun? Why is it always the concerts and going out which gets all the credits and not staying home or reading a book? I honestly do not understand that.
I see people. I see their eyes. I see the look they give me when I choose to stay home. I see everything. Don’t think I’m ignorant, I notice, I just don’t act upon it.
We, the introverts, get a lot of sh*t(pardon my language) and still, we act sane and stick to ourselves.
I know how to socialize, I know how to connect, I know how to flirt, I just choose not to because sometimes, just sometimes, I find time left alone better than some random person I’m apparently supposed to socialize to. It’s just who I am, don’t judge me for it. I keep getting so many condescending comments about how I should go out and make friends and how I should socialize more. It’s annoying how people think that by telling us to make friends, we’ll actually try. Funny.
Loner.
Strong word very carelessly used. I was reading an article about this. There was this term they used, “enforced”. Enforced loner. Very interesting.
It is those type of loners who, if they try to go out and socialize, they fail because of the lack of commonalities that they are forced to stay home most of the time, even times when they want to go out.
I am, in a way, of sorts, an enforced loner. I like being alone most of the time but when I want to go out and socialize, I am unable to do so because I don’t like the crowd. This is like a wish gone wrong. When I was comfortable going out, I did go out and I did socialize and make friends, I’m surprised at how good I am at that.
Ever since this enforced loner phase came into being, I’ve started getting all these remarks which are not very nice, makes you question yourself in ways you never did.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a cry for help, I just hoped that  people wouldn’t be judgmental about me staying at home by my laptop being happy because, believe it or not, we can be happy staying at home.
Introverts, keep at it.

Selfishness.

“Don’t be selfish”.
Isn’t that the most commonly used phrase we all hear at some point in our life? The word is so strong that it can make you rethink your decisions and alter them. It can literally make a “yes” become a “no” and vice versa.
You see, what I’ve noticed is, the society likes to label. They like it a lot. A person who shares is a kind person, a person who gets good grades is a smart person, a person who doesn’t share is selfish. Why is that? Why do you call him/her selfish? Let’s elaborate.
Taking any scenario, why do they call people selfish? Is it because they don’t share? Is it because they want to keep whatever knowledge or goods they have to themselves? Is it simply because they are afraid they might run out of resources? Could be anything.
The word “selfish” is not as bad as people show it to be. It’s not bad to be selfish, it’s your right to be selfish. Being a selfless person pleases the society but does it please you?
It momentarily gives you the satisfaction, I agree, but if you keep being selfless, at some point, it’s going to be torture. People don’t like to admit it but it’s true, it’s just torture. “Because someone called me selfish, I did the selfless thing and it felt good but when I had to keep doing that, it turned to discomfort.”
What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to be selfish once in a while, in fact, you should definitely be selfish, for yourself, for your own comfort, for your own advantage because you deserve it. In the end, you’re living for yourself, not for other’s happiness.

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