Me, Myself and I

I have my holidays right now and all I’ve been doing is sitting all day doing absolutely nothing at all. Well, I’m doing a lot of things but none worthy enough for a mention because the society dictates what should be worthy and what shouldn’t.
It’s always been like this.
“Oh, you went to a concert and got wasted? That’s awesome!”
“Oh you just stayed home and were on your laptop all day? You really need to go out.” 
Why do people always assume that there is only one typical way of having fun? Why is it always the concerts and going out which gets all the credits and not staying home or reading a book? I honestly do not understand that.
I see people. I see their eyes. I see the look they give me when I choose to stay home. I see everything. Don’t think I’m ignorant, I notice, I just don’t act upon it.
We, the introverts, get a lot of sh*t(pardon my language) and still, we act sane and stick to ourselves.
I know how to socialize, I know how to connect, I know how to flirt, I just choose not to because sometimes, just sometimes, I find time left alone better than some random person I’m apparently supposed to socialize to. It’s just who I am, don’t judge me for it. I keep getting so many condescending comments about how I should go out and make friends and how I should socialize more. It’s annoying how people think that by telling us to make friends, we’ll actually try. Funny.
Loner.
Strong word very carelessly used. I was reading an article about this. There was this term they used, “enforced”. Enforced loner. Very interesting.
It is those type of loners who, if they try to go out and socialize, they fail because of the lack of commonalities that they are forced to stay home most of the time, even times when they want to go out.
I am, in a way, of sorts, an enforced loner. I like being alone most of the time but when I want to go out and socialize, I am unable to do so because I don’t like the crowd. This is like a wish gone wrong. When I was comfortable going out, I did go out and I did socialize and make friends, I’m surprised at how good I am at that.
Ever since this enforced loner phase came into being, I’ve started getting all these remarks which are not very nice, makes you question yourself in ways you never did.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a cry for help, I just hoped that  people wouldn’t be judgmental about me staying at home by my laptop being happy because, believe it or not, we can be happy staying at home.
Introverts, keep at it.

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Past choices.

Ever wonder what would happen if you didn’t “move on” from someone or something? I sure do. I hold on to things, things with no reason to hold on to, I still hold on to it. It’s just me. I’m hopeless. I observed many of my friends doing the same thing to a certain extent and then moving on. I wonder if, after they decide to move on, do they actually look back and ask themselves what would’ve happened if they hadn’t moved on? I really do.
You see, I’m not one of those guys who can simply let go of things. I like to keep things, be it an old laptop, an old picture or even an old memory. It’s not that I’m incapable of letting things go, I can let things go, it’s just that if I do, it would torture me. The question would torture me, the big question. What if?
What if you didn’t let go? What if you held on to it? What would’ve happened if you did? I’ve let things go, I’ve moved on(tends to happen when you migrate to another country), it’s been 3 years and yet, I ask myself, “what would’ve happened if I did the opposite of what I did?”. It’s not torture anymore, it’s just natural curiosity. I mean, I’m sure it’s not just me, everyone wants to know if they made the right choice.
I’m here, with my head held high, looking towards the future while a little part of me still wanders in the past. I actually like it, to a certain extent. I like how I still get curious about my past choices, my past memories, my past moments with my loved one(s), still manages to surprise me.
There’s a famous saying; “Let go of the past, you don’t live there anymore”, it’s true, but is it completely, though? My past defines who I am, so I’d like to say that it isn’t true, what about you?

 

 

 

Procrastination.

Oh yes, we all know about this. We all know about the damage it does. Convincing ourselves that it’s “okay” and things will “get done”, and then realizing it’s all going downhill is exactly what happens to generally every human being. Be it a social gathering, be it a toast, or preparation for a test, procrastination happens to be the best of us.
I tried looking at a different perspective and, well, it’s still bad. There is literally no good side to this. Sure, it gives you the temporary illusion of comfort by prolonging but in the end, the event you were trying so hard to run away from will eventually come at your doorstep and you will have to face it, only this time, it would hit you harder.
The mind is a great cluster of cells, capable of great deals, including finding out a billion reasons to “not do” what needs to be done. Your mind will convince you that it’s okay to do it “tomorrow” or to do it “later” only to realize that it is really not okay. Procrastination can get you fired, can get you to fail a test, can get you to arrive late at your daughter’s birthday.
How does the world deal with this?
Will power. Yes, that is it. That is the solution to this. You can Google “10 ways to not procrastinate” and they will give you 10 narrow ways but in the end, it’s all about the will power. Your will power to get things done is all that we need, in the end.
I used to procrastinate, I still do(to an extent) and I know what it does to me. I regret many of the tasks I had to do but didn’t do. It’s not too late for you, or anyone, for that matter.
Get up and get your motivation and that will drive you to a better life with happier people.

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I know, procrastination is not really a major problem in our lives compared to others but it’s still something we need to control. Today it might not seem like a big deal, but feeding it will result in a major life crisis, say, 10 years from now. Ironical enough, I’m writing this while procrastinating, but hey, I have my motivation to do what needs to be done after I hit “Publish”, that’s for sure. Do you have the will power?

Life without music

Can anyone here imagine life without music? It’s absurd! Unimaginable! Horrific!
The sad thing is, there are tons of people who haven’t experienced what real music sounds. No, I’m not talking about artists singing the same verse 5 times in a studio and labeling that as good music, no. I’m talking about the real music. The music which makes you want to dance to the beat. The music which gets you going in life. The music which is a good distraction during a rough time. That music. That music is everything.
It probably did go unnoticed, but the latest artists sadden me. Don’t get me wrong, I like many songs but where is the hype? It’s all about sex, drug, money, twerking and what not, it’s almost like the world runs on these words. Call me old-fashioned, but I love the music which gave you the chills just listening to it.
Also, music doesn’t necessarily have to be a song; it can be anything which pleases you when you hear it, which makes you happy when present. Different people, different perspectives.  There is good music in every corner of the world yet we fail to find it. Have you found your music?

A strange feeling.

It’s surprising how we, human beings, forsake certain aspects only to realize how valuable it was when you’re on the verge of seeing it perish. Makes you question yourself and to value the littlest of things, even if it’s temporary. Say, a person is watching the last episode, it’s about to end, so you desperately latch onto every passing minute of the 20 minute video only to realize that time waits for no one. The little things as this can make you question your basic sense, makes you ask yourself, “Are you living the right way, are you content with it?”.  I know, I know, it’s absurd, “An episode, are you crazy?”, I get it, but, if you think about it, the emotions you experience when you’re watching something or doing something, it holds some value in your life and when its final days are approaching, you value it more because, subconsciously, you feel you haven’t paid as much attention as it deserves. I don’t know, I might be deluded but I feel this way. What about you?