Are you ever afraid of being alone, ten years from now? Having no purpose, no motivation, nothing, in the future when you’re all grown-up? I’m afraid. I’m afraid I might do something which might hugely impact myself and the people around me.
Growing up, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic – always believing that love is a solution to all(Disney, much?). No, I wasn’t influenced by Disney, the people around me influenced me, and they follow different cultures and ways of life. I’m not going to go in-depth with how everyone around me impacted me in a variety of ways so I’m just going to say this; I honestly believed that love is all everyone needed. Yes, I was that na├»ve.
Not knowing what “love” was at the time, I always thought it was this new feeling which made you feel good and complete. After experiencing love, I realized that love is a necessity; but it’s not all that you need. What you need is the balance. The balance between every aspect to stay content. I compromised a lot for love, and when it inevitably perished, I had nothing to get back to, I was stuck.
Now I’ve grown-up, and I’m experienced to know better, and that is why I’m trying to fix myself; not taking everything for granted, not devaluing others just because, just appreciating everything.
The point to this is that everything needs to be a balance, to live a healthy life.
People are going to hit the ground someday, it’s inevitable, it’s only a matter of what you decide to do then.


Past choices.

Ever wonder what would happen if you didn’t “move on” from someone or something? I sure do. I hold on to things, things with no reason to hold on to, I still hold on to it. It’s just me. I’m hopeless. I observed many of my friends doing the same thing to a certain extent and then moving on. I wonder if, after they decide to move on, do they actually look back and ask themselves what would’ve happened if they hadn’t moved on? I really do.
You see, I’m not one of those guys who can simply let go of things. I like to keep things, be it an old laptop, an old picture or even an old memory. It’s not that I’m incapable of letting things go, I can let things go, it’s just that if I do, it would torture me. The question would torture me, the big question. What if?
What if you didn’t let go? What if you held on to it? What would’ve happened if you did? I’ve let things go, I’ve moved on(tends to happen when you migrate to another country), it’s been 3 years and yet, I ask myself, “what would’ve happened if I did the opposite of what I did?”. It’s not torture anymore, it’s just natural curiosity. I mean, I’m sure it’s not just me, everyone wants to know if they made the right choice.
I’m here, with my head held high, looking towards the future while a little part of me still wanders in the past. I actually like it, to a certain extent. I like how I still get curious about my past choices, my past memories, my past moments with my loved one(s), still manages to surprise me.
There’s a famous saying; “Let go of the past, you don’t live there anymore”, it’s true, but is it completely, though? My past defines who I am, so I’d like to say that it isn’t true, what about you?